


Secrets

by tiny-freakin-head (Hobbitfing)



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Engineer has Spy issues, Heavy is the sensible one, M/M, Multi, Sniper gets stuck in between them, Spy is sensitive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 16:37:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11787150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbitfing/pseuds/tiny-freakin-head
Summary: Sometimes it's hard to share your secrets with someone who buys and sells secrets for a living.





	1. Chapter 1

Spy let himself into Sniper’s camper, knowing it wouldn’t be locked. He stripped off shoes, mask and gloves, tie and jacket, shirt and trousers, and finally briefs, socks and undershirt before sliding under the sheet next to Sniper. He twined an arm around the Sniper’s waist, edging him over just enough to steal half of his pillow. 

Sniper murmured a sleepy greeting, shifting to allow Spy enough room on the tiny bed—luckily neither of them took up much space, at least not cross-wise. “How’re your feet always cold?” he grumbled, withdrawing his legs as far as he could to escape the unpleasant coolness on his warm skin. “We’re in the bloody desert. Can’t imagine how you’d fare anywhere else.” He yawned, rolling carefully so he could gather Spy in his arms without knocking the shorter man off the bed. 

Spy snorted. “I fare much better, thank you. All this heat and dry air,” he yawned, settling happily into Sniper’s arms. “Not good for me. I have no idea how anyone tolerates it.”

Grinning, Sniper kissed Spy’s forehead. “The way you tell it, nothin’s good for you, mate.” 

“You’re good for me,” he murmured. “And Engineer.”

“You’re good for Engineer too,” Sniper said, deliberately misunderstanding what Spy had said. “And for me.” He stroked a thumb through Spy’s hair. “Not that I’m complaining, but what brings you out here so early? We’re usually lucky to see you at breakfast, and here you are before I’m even awake, and I’m usually the first one awake.”

“I just couldn’t sleep. I thought perhaps I could sneak in without waking you,” he sounded slightly remorseful. “I could have gone to Engineer, but he was up late last night tinkering, I’d hate to wake him early.”

“Poor Spy. I’m glad I can fall asleep just about anywhere. I don’t mind; I would’ve woken up soon anyway. Always glad to wake up with a Spy in my bed.” Sniper laughed. “Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one of the three of us who sleeps every night.”

“You probably are,” he laughed. “But we seem to do alright.”

“Well, you’re both still alive, in any case. Though I sometimes wonder if it effects your thinking—more Engineer’s than yours, I guess.”

“What are you saying, exactly? That I don’t need to think?” Spy huffed. “Just because I’m not some kind of mechanical genius.”

“You know that’s not what I meant!” Sniper protested, giving Spy a playful pinch on the back of his neck. “You always seem...and he...” Sniper made a chopping motion on his forearm, then froze. “Never mind. It...it’s nothing.” 

Spy cocked his head, not sure about what any of that had meant. Sniper had frozen up, as though he’d spilled a secret and that immediately piqued his interest. He mimicked the chopping motion. “What do you mean?”

Sniper’s lips tightened for a moment, then he sighed. “Piss. I...You don’t know about...?” He made his right hand into a stiff claw. 

“What, his gunslinger?” Spy laughed, hesitantly. “What about it?”

“He, ah...it wasn’t exactly...I’m sure you already know this, I know you researched all of us!”

“There wasn’t a lot of information on his family, you know how private they are. What am I missing?” Spy frowned.

“He did it himself!”

“Oh.” Spy said, softly. He hadn’t known. “He told you this?” Spy was surprised, and a little hurt, that Engineer would have told Sniper about that and not him. They had all been together for almost the same amount of time, he’d thought they were all equals in each others’ lives. Whatever secrets he shared with Sniper, he shared with Engineer. Apparently that wasn’t true for Engineer. His heart sank, but he did his best to keep it hidden. “I’m sure he thought I knew,” he shrugged.

“I...” Sniper froze, not sure if he should pull away, give Spy a little distance, or pull him closer. He settled for slowly, evenly stroking the nape of Spy’s neck with his thumb. “I-I’m sure he did,” Sniper agreed, not sounding any more convincing—or convinced—than Spy. 

Spy let Sniper stroke his neck and lay his head against his lover’s shoulder, trying to stop his thoughts so he could get back to sleep. 

It took quite some time.

 

*

 

“Truckie, could I talk to you for a tick?” It was rare for Sniper to see Spy sleeping, and he regretted missing the opportunity to watch him sleep, but talking to Engineer as soon as possible seemed more important. He was even more surprised that Spy hadn’t woken when he’d left—despite what Spy said, they both knew Spy didn’t sleep well—but he was just glad Spy was actually getting some badly-needed sleep. 

“Mhm, what d’you need, slim?” Engineer gave him a bright little grin, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him in close.

Sniper draped an arm around Engineer’s shoulders—he’d have to bend down to reach the Texan’s waist—looking away guiltily. “I might’ve...I might’ve made Spy upset with you, and I didn’t mean to,” he began, slowly and uncomfortably. 

“Oh,” he shrugged. “Well, I know you wouldn’t do it on purpose. He can be a touchy thing. What’s it about?”

Sniper laughed, awkwardly. “Yeah, that’s true enough. I, ah...” He hung his head, rubbing the back of his neck guiltily and pulling away from Engineer a little. “I told him the gunslinger wasn’t an accident. I thought he knew—maybe not that you’d told him, but from before, when he was researching all of us. I just wanted to let you know, and I’m sorry. I’ll do my best to keep this from coming down on you—it’s my fault.”

“No, Spy and I should probably talk it out. It was my fault for not telling him. There’s no need to be sorry,” he assured Sniper. 

It was difficult sometimes for Engineer to talk to Spy about certain things; it was difficult to share secrets with him. He’d grown up to be suspicious of spies, grown up with them trying to pry information from him and his family and now to just easily give out sensitive secrets... it was hard. It was much easier to tell Sniper. They were all private men, but Sniper had never bought or sold secrets. That was just part of being a spy.

Sniper didn’t envy Engineer that particular conversation—trying to get Spy to talk it out was like pulling teeth. From a hen. “I-I know it’s not, exactly, but I know how...” Sniper struggled to think of the right word, tactfully. Both Spy and Engineer were stubborn, and Engineer could be quick to anger while there was nothing Spy enjoyed more than needling people he could get a rise out of—he’d long since left off with Sniper. Sniper was happy with their threesome, but he sometimes wondered if Spy and Engineer would endure as a couple without him to soothe the friction that often arose between them. “...anyway,” he said, deciding to simply start over, “I don’t mean to make things more difficult between you. If you didn’t tell him, I’m sure you had a good reason, and I’m sorry I opened my trap.” 

“No, I should’ve told both of you, if I was going to tell one of you. It’s just... it’s tough, to tell him things,” he admitted.

“I know.” Sniper leaned into Engineer, giving him a gentle, affectionate nudge. “And...I can understand wanting to keep some things secret from him.” 

“I know you can,” he nudged him back, smiling. “Don’t you worry about us.”

Sniper shrugged. “Love both of you,” he said, almost apologetically. 

“Love you too, slim,” he pulled Sniper down by the collar for a peck.

 

*

 

Engineer shut his workshop door while he tinkered that evening, knowing that, to cats and Spies, a closed door was a siren song. 

Spy noted the closed door as he passed, but headed to Sniper’s instead. Finding Scout and Sniper together in the little camper, Spy gave up and went to sleep alone. He couldn’t help but feel bitter about it. Towards Scout, towards Engineer, and even a little towards Sniper. He let himself wallow in it while he was alone.   
Engineer didn’t realize how much time had passed until he happened to glance up at his clock—almost two in the morning. If Spy wasn’t here by now, he probably wasn’t coming—or Engineer would wake up with the skinny little Frenchman beside him. Either way...Engineer curled up on the little cot in a quiet corner of his workshop, waiting for the cogs and gears in his mind to wind down so he could sleep. 

 

*

 

Spy kept to himself over the next week, his usual sense of humour somewhat dampened. Even spending time with Sniper was a little painful. He took to sleeping on his own again.

Sniper and Engineer noticed Spy’s withdrawal and discussed ways they might overcome it, but Spy remained too elusive for either of them to speak to privately. Spy fought the day’s battle and disappeared. He was absent during meals, but food disappeared during the night, which was a relief to his lovers—at least he was eating.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heavy intervenes.

A lifetime on the run and hunting for survival had honed Heavy’s ability to stay still and quiet, even around watchful prey or while being hunted by men. He waited just outside the shower room when all his teammates had left—all, he suspected, but one.

He could hear the shower running after awhile. A little after that it stopped and there was quiet for a time before the door opened. No one was visible; Spy was clearly using his cloak. He frowned, invisibly, at his friend. Heavy always seemed to know when he was upset. And he always seemed to corner him.

Heavy cleared his throat softly, letting Spy know that he was there, and that he knew Spy was there. Trapping Spy completely wasn’t a good idea, either as a survival strategy or as a friend who wanted to keep his hard-won trust. It had to be Spy’s choice, at least a little. 

Spy sighed and uncloaked, hitting the correct button on his watch. He had his mask off, his hair still wet and neatly combed. He hated wearing his mask right out of the shower. “What is it, mon ami?” Heavy was a stubborn man; he wouldn’t give up easily if he thought something was wrong.

“Was hoping you would tell me,” Heavy rumbled. 

“There’s nothing to tell,” he shrugged, stepping past Heavy and heading to his smoking room.

“You’re not fighting with Engineer and Sniper?” Heavy switched to Russian. 

“Have you heard any fighting?” he retorted, following Heavy’s language switch so their conversation could truly be private.

“No. That’s what worries me.” Usually, even with Sniper between them to ease the way, Spy and Engineer were prone to spectacular fights at least once a week. This week, Engineer had been even more grimly determined to tinker in his workshop than usual, Sniper walked around looking like someone had just kicked his puppy, and Spy was...Heavy would never tell him this out loud, but the word that came to mind was хандрить—moping. 

“Shouldn’t you be happy that we’re not fighting?” Spy grimaced. It was clear he knew what Heavy meant. They’d reached the smoking room door, and he hesitated before opening it wide enough for Heavy to follow him.

Raising a thick eyebrow to show he knew Spy was dodging the topic, Heavy inclined his head to show his gratitude for Spy’s invitation and followed his teammate inside. 

Spy sat in one of the plush chairs and his mouth quirked unhappily. Heavy could almost always get him to talk. It was one of the things he both loved and hated about him. “It’s nothing important. Engineer and I...” he considered his words for a moment. “He chose to tell Sniper something intimate and didn’t trust me with it. And I understand why.”

Groaning a little with pleasure, Heavy sank into the sturdy, padded armchair Spy had provided especially for him, when their chats about Russian poetry and chess had turned into what Heavy hoped was genuine friendship. He steepled his hands thoughtfully, turning the matter over in his mind and examining it from every angle before responding. It was this thoughtfulness—combined, of course, with his size—that made people underestimate him, think he was slow. Their mistake. 

Heavy smiled, gently. “As usual, I can understand all three sides.” He leaned back. “I like Engineer and Sniper very much, but you are my friend, so I am inclined to agree with you. I think the question becomes—what do you want? Do you want Engineer to share a confidence with you that he hasn’t with Sniper—perhaps he has already. Or perhaps the other way around—you wish for Sniper to share something with you that he hasn’t with Engineer? Or maybe none of those.”

“No, no, none of that,” Spy sighed. It was good to talk to Heavy about this after feeling down for so long. “I just worry, that this is as far as we can go, he and I. That this is as far as our trust can go and—and maybe I want more than we can have. I’m not worried about Sniper and I, or Sniper and Engineer. I’m not exactly jealous,” it was hard to put into words exactly what it was he felt, “I suppose most of all I’m just disappointed. I feel like I’ve hit a wall.”

Heavy nodded slowly, lowering his chin to his chest to hid his brief flash of a smile. For Spy to feel that way, never mind admit it to anyone, made Heavy...proud. It was absurd, of course—Spy was older than him, for one thing, but that didn’t change the way Heavy felt. He wanted his friend to be happy, and it was always frustrating when he could see Spy’s past getting in the way of his future. 

“Maybe he feels the same way,” Heavy suggested, “or maybe he doesn’t consciously, and if you spoke to him about it, it might be good for both of you.” Heavy strongly suspected the latter—Engineer was never very vocal about his past, but Medic’s idea of patient confidentiality was virtually nonexistent at the best of times, never mind when he was tipsy. Engineer had shared things with Medic that he hadn’t with the rest of the team, and Medic had in turn told Heavy some facts of Engineer’s early life that had shed some light on the man. He had reasons—very good reasons—not to trust anyone with all his secrets, and spies tenfold more. That they’d grown even this close was astonishing, and Heavy didn’t intend to let it all fall apart now, with the first real test of their relationship. 

“Ugh, but I don’t want to talk to him,” Spy groaned. “That sounds difficult and emotional and terrible.”

“I know,” Heavy agreed. Folding his fingers across his broad stomach, he gave Spy a canny look. “Things have not always been easy between me and Medic, even though we seem perfectly suited in every way.” He grinned.

“Pff, I don’t believe you,” Spy teased.

“I know, I know, it’s difficult to believe,” Heavy laughed, his face turning serious a moment later. “It wasn’t easy for me—I knew I liked men since I was a little boy, but even if someone in my family had been offended by the idea, there were many worse things, immediate dangers. None of us—my mother, sisters, or me—had time or energy to spare for romance.” Heavy smiled gently, blushing just a little. “Outside of books,” he admitted. “It wasn’t a problem for me, and when I met Medic...” His blush deepened, and he gestured vaguely. “I never wanted to change, and I never needed to change for anyone else. For Medic, though...you probably already know some of this, having researched us and maybe even from when the two of you drink—I think you mostly talk gossip and happy things, but maybe it’s serious sometimes. I’m sure you could guess, anyway. He’s always been attracted to men, but he was punished for his desire, early and often. We were drawn to one another...early,” Heavy cut off a more romantic statement, “and it was mutual. Even if we hadn’t been expected to work so closely together, to battle in synchronization...I think there would have been something. But he fought it, at first.” Heavy shrugged; he expected Spy knew most, if not all, of this, but that wasn’t the point right now.

Spy nodded. He knew most of this, though it was nice to hear it straight from Heavy. “I just don’t want to have this conversation only to learn that our relationship has grown as much as it can and I have to either be happy with this, knowing that if I was someone else I could get closer to him, or end it entirely,” Spy admitted. 

He didn’t want to offer his heart on a plate only to get pity in return when Engineer didn’t reciprocate. Spy found it hard to trust, to tell secrets, but he’d never told a secret to one of his lovers without then telling the other. And he’d never tell anyone else one of their secrets. If anything, he was far better than Sniper at keeping secrets; the Australian was laughably easy to read if he knew anything exciting that he was trying to keep from anyone else.

“Of course not,” Heavy agreed, softly. “I could speak to him for you, if you’d like.” He grinned. “You may not know this about me, but I can be very discreet. I’m very good at leading a conversation without the other person knowing he’s being led. Sometimes a degree in poetry is more useful than eleven science degrees.”

“No, no,” Spy said. “If anyone’s talking to Engineer about this it should be me,” he grimaced. “Even if I really don’t want to.”

Heavy leaned forward and gave Spy a pat on the shoulder. “If he hurts you, I’ll rip him into five pieces,” he assured his friend. 

“Only five?” Spy chuckled. As silly as it was, having someone offer to defend him, he appreciated it. Though all he wanted to do was curl up in Heavy’s lap and spend the evening there, he knew what he ought to do, before things got any worse. “Thank you, for everything.” 

“No, you’re right—six,” Heavy agreed. He waved away Spy’s thanks. “Of course.” 

Spy argued himself up and after saying goodbye to his friend, he headed to Engineer’s workshop. He let himself in, bypassing the lock easily, and going in. Engineer was hard at work, and he didn’t want to interrupt. He sat quietly, a ways away, just watching for a while.

“Now where’d I put that darn...jumpin’ Jehosphat, Spy, you scared the living daylights outta me!” 

Spy couldn’t help but smile at Engineer’s ‘curse’. “Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Mm-hmm. Scaring ten years off my life wasn’t part of your plan?” Engineer shook his head, but he was grinning. Remembering the awkwardness of the last few days, he swallowed hard, slowly rotating his hardhat in his hands. “So, I...uh...shit. Well, I should start by saying I’m sorry...”

“Sorry for what?” Spy frowned, not sure if this was the apology he wanted or if this was the ending of a relationship.

“I should have told you, too. I shouldn’t have assumed that you already knew, and... I shouldn’t have liked the idea of knowing something you didn’t. Letting Sniper know something you didn’t.”

Spy shrugged, as though it were nothing. “I can understand it. I—” There was no way he could tell Engineer all the things he’d said to Heavy. It was too much, too near his heart. If Engineer didn’t understand, didn’t reciprocate, it would hurt too much. “I’m fine. I’m sorry I avoided you.” 

Engineer nodded, keeping his head lowered for a long time. Finally, slowly, he held out his arms, welcoming Spy if he was willing. 

Spy stepped in, wrapping his arms around Engineer. He wasn’t sure it was worked out, entirely, but this was too much of a tangled mess for him to fix it. For all that he was good at seducing people, when it came to his own feelings he felt a little stunted.

Hoping Spy didn’t hear him sniffing, Engineer hugged Spy tight. “I don’t want to lose you. It was stupid and wrong-headed of me.” He laughed. “We tease you about having...well, anyway, I’ve got problems of my own.” He looked up, reaching up to gently tip Spy’s head back. “But they’re not your problems, and I’ve got no right to drag you into them.”

“Of course you do,” Spy told him. “I’d help you, if I could. You know that, yes?” 

“I know. And-and I’d do the same for you.” Engineer blushed, looking away and quickly wiping his eyes on his sleeve—of all the times not to be wearing his goggles! “I will help you...if you still...” He shrugged. 

Spy let out a slow breath, trying to stay composed. “I want us to trust each other,” he said softly. “If there’s anything that you want to know, I will tell you if I’m able.”

Engineer nodded. “I want that too. Moi aussi.” He grinned self-consciously. 

Spy bent down and kissed him. “Sniper will be happy,” he smirked.

“Why’s that?” Engineer asked, breathless from the kiss. “Missed you,” he murmured. “Sorry I was such an ass.” He wanted to roll around in Spy’s scent, nuzzle him until he smelled like Spy and Spy smelled like him. 

“Because he hates it when we fight,” Spy stroked a thumb over Engineer’s cheek. “I was also an ass, so we’re both sorry.”

“Pair of sorry asses, that’s us,” Engineer agreed, and then he was laughing, and he wasn’t sure if the wetness on his face was from laughter or tears, but it didn’t matter. He kissed Spy’s thumb, nodding. “He’ll definitely be happy.”

“Good,” Spy gave Engineer a squeeze. “Should I leave you to your work, or stay?”

“That depends. Do you know the difference between a socket wrench and a crescent wrench yet?”

Spy sighed. “The socket wrench is the round one, yes?”

Grinning, Engineer gave Spy’s rump an affectionate little squeeze. “That’s the one.”


End file.
